There are just some things I really can’t stand doing. I wish that there was a way to pay other people to do these things but I haven’t been able to figure that out (yet). Here is a list of things I would gladly hire someone else to do for me:

  1. Get my hair cut for me
  2. Go to the dentist for me
  3. Deal with my hangover for me
  4. Go clothes shopping with any female for me
  5. Yell at the cable company for me
  6. Wait in line at the DMV for me
  7. Argue with stupid people for me
  8. Drink 8 cups of water a day for me
  9. Repent for sins for me
  10. Get old for me

How about you? Anything you wish you could pay people to do in your place? Help me build out the ultimate list.

Ted Murphy

Ted Murphy

Ted Murphy is an American entrepreneur. He is currently the Founder, Chairman, and Chief Executive Officer of IZEA, a technology company that provides software for influencer marketing.

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  • Scott says:

    You don’t like getting your hair cut? I really enjoy it… does that make me weird? I have a cool barber and I enjoy going in and getting a cut once a month. It makes me feel refreshed.

  • Ted Murphy says:

    I like the result of getting my haircut. I would get it cut every three days if I could. I just don’t like waiting in line, being covered by that stupid gown, the awkward chat with the barber like we are beer drinking buddies.

  • Matt Gomez says:

    Add to that list …
    – Balance my checkbook (and I don’t mean on the end of my nose)
    – Constantly search for people to pay insane amounts of money for my passion as a creative writer (children’s books) instead of making it my “hobby”
    – Convince my wife that her abundant love for me and the little amount of money I earn in my career don’t have to be at opposite ends of the spectrum
    – Dust and vacuum everything in sight — even when it looks fine as it is
    – Convince Ted Murphy to hire me as the latest star contributor to IZEA’s success
    – Act like a grown up, so I can continue acting like a kid (albeit a bald one with a beard)

  • matthew says:

    @Ted Murphy:
    waiting in line? are you going to supercuts? you need to step up and go to the salon. get a glass of wine while you wait.

  • Ted Murphy says:

    I get my hair cut every two weeks. I would be broke if I went to a salon. I go to barber.

  • Ted Murphy says:

    @Matt Gomez:
    What kind of work are you looking for?

  • Casey says:

    @Ted Murphy:

    “the awkward chat with the barber like we are beer drinking buddies.”

    Oh man, so true. Especially when they stop cutting your hair to tell you a story you don’t give 2 shits about. Meanwhile you’re thinking “STFU damnit and just cut my hair!!”

  • Matt Gomez says:

    @TedMurphy I’m looking for a senior-level position in marketing communications and PR. 20 years of experience as a journalist and as a marcom pro for high tech and higher ed companies and organizations. Just relocated to the Orlando area after a four-year stint in south Florida. Reconnecting with people through as I step-up the job search, but IZEA keeps coming up in conversation (I used to work with Donna Mackenzie at Channel Intelligence).

  • Craig says:


    but you can’t say anything like that because the barber is holding scissors or other sharp instruments like a straight razor

  • Rob says:

    I would love someone to go to work for me. That is only because I get up at 1am to be at work at 2am. Fun!

  • akeorlando says:

    Cash works for me. And I would totally about half the things on this list for cash.

    Let’s make a deal….

  • Tina Kubala says:

    I’m an expert at # 4 as my BFF’s shopping buddy extraordinaire. I even carry bags and chase toddlers as needed.

    Getting paid to argue with stupid people sounds like a dream come true to a customer service rep like me. I get paid to listen to customer’s irrational crap while trying to educate them without sounding condescending all while getting them to like me even if they hate the company. It’s a rush when you pull it off since it is nearly impossible at time. Arguing would be a piece of cake.

  • Ben Lang says:

    I just wanted to give you a shoutout Ted. You are a remarkable blogger and a role model to me! Thanks so much!
    Ben Lang

  • Ted Murphy says:

    I want someone to stand in for me when I have to explain that I am not the Ted Murphy who sticks his tongue out.

  • MommaDJane says:

    You could always hire a personal shopper for #4 and a personal assistant for #5 and #7. I’m available for hire anytime. 🙂

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