Ouch. Nobody likes to hear that, but I did. Well…. kinda anyway.
A couple of months ago I linked up with my old buddy Michael Brito at IZEAFest. We hadn’t seen each other in about 4 months. He and I have always shot straight with each other, so after a few drinks he dropped a bomb on me. While he didn’t say “Dude. You are fat.” he did say I had put on a good bit of weight and my neck was thick. My mind translated his statement into what I already knew. I was getting fat and was out of shape.
That was a turning point for me and I am so happy Michael said something. Today I ran 20 miles and I am currently in training for a marathon. I saw Michael again this past weekend and he told me I looked like I was getting in shape (thanks buddy).
Fat is a Choice
While I realize a very small percentage of people have a legitimate weight disease, the majority of us don’t. There is no excuse for people like me. I was simply eating too much and exercising too little, my caloric intake was higher than what I burned. I am not alone. According to the CDC 33.3% of American adult men are obese. Are you kidding me!?! That is ridiculous.
U.S. Obesity Trends 1985-2007 from Ted Murphy on Vimeo.
I wasn’t getting fat because my parents are heavy, I was working too much, getting older, blah blah blah. I was getting fat because I was eating like a horse and not engaging in any physical activity. That was my choice. I chose to eat like I did. I chose not to exercise. It’s your choice too. Unless you have a rare disease you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Good Friends Shoot Straight
Michael is a Marine and with that comes a special flavor of tough love. There’s no BS, it is what it is. I’m lucky to have a friend like that, but most people don’t. When was the last time you told your friend to ease off the cheeseburgers? It’s a hard thing to do. Nobody wants to hurt someones feelings, so we sit back and watch our friends rack up the pounds.
Your friend gets fatter and fatter. You say nothing…but eventually the message comes, not from you but from their body. Coronary heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, hypertension, dyslipidemia, liver disease, the list of obesity related illness goes on and on.
Tell Your Friend They Are Getting Fat
You have a choice, either you can help your friend realize they need to make a life change or their body can. Hmmmm… heart attack vs. some potentially hurt feelings. I would pick the latter any day. You have the chance to help your friend or loved one before thet get to far down the road of obesity. You may save thier life.
Speaking of that… it looks like you may need to lay off the fries. Chunky butt.
Ted,
You are speaking directly to me, maybe not intentionally but you are. I am hearing you my friend. When is IZEAFEST 2009? I’m gonna be lighter, faster and stronger by the time I see you there. Your posts have been inspiring, your running also inspiring. I want to change and get healthy. I have to because I do have a disease, type II diabetes, and you know why I have that disease, I let myself get fat. I can’t keep getting bigger and slower. Not if I want to be around to walk my beautiful daughter down the aisle.
@BenSpark:
“Not if I want to be around to walk my beautiful daughter down the aisle.”
That is reason enough right there my friend.
We haven’t set the date for IZEAFest 2009 yet, but it is safe to say you have at least 8 months to get in shape. I am looking forward to seeing a smaller Drew in the future!
Dude … whoa, I didn’t know that it affected you and of course I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Really though, after hanging with you and your broad shoulders this weekend, I can honestly say that you are lookin’ tight!!!
And, that’s in love!!
Thanks for the great time this weekeend. I am humbled to be a part of Izea.
Hey Ted, good for you to take Michael’s comment in a positive manner – and to do something about your lifestyle… it’s not easy to change…
Perhaps the two of you could start a ‘boot camp’ to get us all motivated to lose some ‘Postie Pounds’ and get in shape… in time for a big reveal at PostieCon 09!
wait … was this directed towards me?
“Speaking of that… it looks like you may need to lay off the fries. Chunky butt.”
I gained 40 pounds when my wife had our first kid. I haven’t lost it, and I now have high blood pressure.
My wife is pregnant again, and I’ve gotta do something to keep from gaining another 40 lbs.
I don’t know about 20 miles, but I think I’ll start with 1 or 2 tomorrow morning.
I hope IzeaFest isn’t in August. I’ll be gone 2 weeks during that time for a military school I have to go to.
Congrats on finding the discipline. Running can be a great escape, that is once you begin to run because you are enjoying it and not doing it because you have to. Keep up the hard work, and a marathon should be doable, especially if you are already running 20. Keep it up!
Ted! I have read your posts and am inspired by them as well. Oddly enough I decided to get in shape around the same time you did as well. I started slowly, as I had allowed myself to get very out of shape. My progress has been slow, but it is there. I started being able to do 10 mins on the eliptical and that moved to a full 3 miles in 30 minutes. I have recently moved to the treadmill and the first time was able to do 5 minutes before I was ready to stop, now I am up to a full mile in about 11 minutes and am shooting for a 5k soon. My roomate runs marathons, he just ran the half marathon saturday morning downtown. He is another inspiration!
Teddy – you know I’m one of your biggest fans, and I’m so proud of you for taking your health seriously and getting in shape! Being your big sis, I’m compelled to offer a few words of wisdom. When it comes to offering free “advice”…tread cautiously.
Relationships, like everything else, take time, nurturing, and a lot of TLC. “Don’t tell me you care for me, show me.” Right?
There are two types of people in this world:
1) Thick skinned, like you. You actively solicit criticism, get what you wish out of it, and turn it into a positive action. Someone says “you’re fat” and you respond with a “Hells-yeah!, and watch what I’m going to do about it!”
2) Almost everybody else. An unsolicited “you’re fat” comment from a close friend is swallowed with shame and responded to with “Thanks for pointing out the completely obvious jack-@sz.” I’d bet that your friend already knows they are fat, knows their health is at risk, and knows that they live an unhealthy lifestyle. That same friend likely has some self-esteem challenges, and likely eats and regresses to poor behavior out of frustration and sadness.
I’ve never met anyone in my life that ever sat around and intentionally decided to get fat. I agree that everyone has excuses, and they have to live with their choices, too. Sometimes you absolutely do have to have tough conversations, but I sincerely challenge you to consider your words and actions carefully if you choose to present your case to your “friend” as that of caring and concern.
My suggestion for you is two fold: 1) keep doing what you are doing for YOU, and you will no doubt inspire others to take a deeper look at their own laziness if it is a problem, and 2) spend more time with your friend doing more healthy things instead of they typical eat/drink/party events that are the basis for most social gatherings. Be part of the solution, otherwise you’re part of the problem.
I’d be wiling to bet that a few good things would come out of a words PLUS actions strategy including a stronger friendship, a mutual excitement for trying something healthy and different, and an increase in your friend’s ego that you like them so much to want to invest your time in the friendship. If you’re not ready to make that type of time commitment to your friend, then you’re probably not as close as you actually think, and your “advice” will likely go in one ear and out the other. All you’ll be left with is a person who feels you think so little of them that you’d throw an insult their way, then turn around and walk away.
You’ve got a big heart–use it for GOOD!
@Marcelle:
“I sincerely challenge you to consider your words and actions carefully if you choose to present your case to your “friend” as that of caring and concern.”
I totally agree with this. I should clarify that I am not advocating anyone sitting your friend down and telling them “you are fat”. Michael certainly didn’t do that with me. What I am advocating is having the conversation if you truly care. You choose how to go about it.
@Ted Murphy:
So when can I expect the conversation? 😉 xo
What I like about this blog is that it doesn’t make excuses for weight gain. I myself am about 30 pounds over weight and its because I haven’t jogged farther than from my desk to the printer in months. I eat large helpings of awesome food like pizza and burgers and my beer intake is something to be admired. I’m fat, and it’s not so much that I like it, but it was definitely by my own decision-making. My parents are overweight, because THEY eat too much and don’t exercise. I find it inspring that you ran 20 miles. I’m going to shoot for smaller portions, less beer, and maybe ONE mile for starters.
Nevermind about being gone in August… I was wrong. I’ll be gone in September.
That’s when IzeaFest was this year. Got my fingers crossed for something different. 🙂
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